The trick for the cure of Sunday-blues
ACE.
Keep Calm And Carry On.
I Should Have Been Born In The 20's.
The pouch factor
I’m pretty sure my sisters will never know quite how much they mean to me. I literally think they are two of the best people god ever created: I think of them when I doubt, when I laugh and when I’m at the most extreme emotions I can possibly feel. Without them, I’m pretty sure my world would shatter. That said, the overwhelming love I have for them leaves me terrified on a daily basis- my smug pride at such wonders being in my life means I can only ever pray to be half as great as them. And that is the beauty of it: I can tell them this all I want, but they’ll never grasp the enormity of it.
I keep wanting everything too soon.
Too fast. My patience has evaporated like that smell of frying bacon does: too soon. And now I’m at work, feeling blue and tired. I’m here alone, and can’t even make a cup of tea because I forgot to bring the milk up to the shop floor. This week has thankfully been better than last; verbal promotions, seeing the twin. Papa on the mend, and despite the hysterical sibling feeling lost, I have a feeling this could hopefully be the start of an exciting year that till now has stifled me. Pity I want it all NOW.
I probably think of that moment at least once a day.
Looking at you, someone I carried that dear, and the viewpoint of the top of your head. You, asking me what I wanted to hear. I wanted your heart, and it wasn’t mine to want. The thing that upsets me most about this is that even now- now I know that you aren’t there for me, that you are unreliable, and that I’ll never be the one who you look at like that. Even now, it still hurts that you forgot to say goodbye.
Happy structural Friday!
(Source: rollthedrumss, via welldressedfortheapocalypse)
For some reason, this train feels very womb-y.
It’s soothing, calming rocking and ploughing through this disgusting slate-rain. It started as I spoke to d on the big sofa at lunch, and doesn’t seem to have stopped since. I can’t decide wether going back to London- to the city and anonymity is a good thing: it’ll either occupy or suffocate me. Whichever it does, I have to go back- to hold up the little fort I’m building myself.
My bernies seem okay, but I can’t work out if it is just that they are super-stoic, or don’t really realise what is going on. Either way, h’s support beam of Reece fills me with a good kind of envy: to see her so happy is paramount to my happiness. I’m pretty sure her lawyer brain with it’s cogs and whistles has sussed that much out. Now all I need is the small ones comfort.
Then they can come and help me hold up the walls of my fort.
EASTER-CAKE (clever sibling)
Mmmm at least Brixton-summertime is here to thaw our frozen imaginations.
Too much.
I’m doing that thing again where I drown a little. With the d, and no idea as to how bad it is, the mothership’s histrionics of yesterday- her children running away now explained. I’m tired: tired of so much ill health. Liv the worst and now D. I absolutely cannot help Liv; I speak to her at least three times a day, at every mealtime, but the last time she asked me a question she forgot the answer and asked again. I need her to at least care how I am. Last Monday’s defence to Hana: the feeling like I was in front of a jury, defending myself.
Han has now left, and a new girl, new presence is here. I’m sure she’s great, but at the moment I don’t even want to find out- I just want to get past the next few weeks, months.
Stuart is going away next weds for a week and a bit, so work will be full on too, and I’m not even sure I can do my job without the over-sympathetic hand holding offered to me on a daily basis.
“but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep”.
HAPPY FRIDAY!
Don’t bother drowning your tears
They’ve already learnt how to swim.
gant rugger three piece suit.
I’m a BIG fan of this - brown suit, blue shirt? What did I say; Spring is on it’s way, thank god!
I’m suddenly a massive fan of Thom Browne. One of our interns (a man of genius proportions (6ft 5”) introduced me to him and his shrunken look - short hems, lots of cuff and an english demeanor to the whole thing. Very polished.
(via swimneversink)
Even back then, tech nerds are the same.
BANG & OLUFSEN, 1932
CHECK OUT THOSE LAPELS! Wowzers.
(Source: colonialgoods, via thesimplyrefined)
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